Rutabaga!!

This past June I was at my friend’s 2-year old daughter’s birthday party. Yah know…the stage where they can actually repeat (almost) every single word? During the party…Grandpa said “Alice, can you say rutabaga?” Alice: “Rutabaga!!” I laughed so SO hard!!! First of all, what the HECK is a rutabaga? I knew it was a root vegetable but I didn’t know much more than that. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rutabaga Secondly, I thought it was exceedingly funny that Grandpa would choose the word rutabaga out of the vast pool of words that his granddaughter could repeat after him. Lastly, the combination of how casually and clearly Alice said the word is what nearly made me lose bladder control.

Henceforth, it has been my mission to have Hannah say “rutabaga” after me. So I will casually drop the question into our times together. “Hannah, can you say rutabaga?” At first she just straight up ignored Auntie. After a bit…you could see the little wheels turning in her head, like…”hmmm…I don’t know what Auntie is saying but I feel the urge to repeat it!” Well, last night, my friends, was THE night.

I was hangin’ out with Becca and Hannah and it was bath time. We were having Hannah repeat all the words that she can currently say (mama, birdie, boogie…yah know the usual). Then I said “Hannah, can you say rutabaga?” And while playing with her little cups in the water she said with her tiny, sweet voice “Rudy”. Becca and I looked at each other, gasped and stifled MUCH laughter! IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!

So for now…rutabaga is “rudy” and I’ll take it til the day that Hannah shall proclaim to the world “RUTABAGA!”

[insert Happy Auntie Face here]

First there was Cough Boy...

I sent this email to some coworkers on 9/28 after making some lovely bathroom observations.  Enjoy!

Now there is Rabies Girl!

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
There is a lady on the floor I work on that A. urinates frequently which means I must as well otherwise how would I know that! HA! But B. brushes her teeth after lunch every day. Not just a quicky little tooth (teeth?) brushing though….I’m talking a major production here! 

• She folds a paper towel in ½ and sets it on the counter
• She has a little satchel in which she carries her toothbrush and paste and God knows what else
• Today I witnessed her brushing her teeth for at least 3 minutes (don’t ask me why I was in the bathroom for 3 minutes)
• Today I also witnessed her incessantly brushing the roof of her mouth and tongue…over and over and over and over.
• On multiple occasions I have witnessed the white froth that forms around her ENTIRE mouth from brushing for so long and so vigorously. Yes…it is reminiscent of rabies.

She not only rinses her mouth out in the sink (duh) but she splashes the entire bottom half of her face several times before “calling it good”.  

 

Can anyone say OCD?! Honestly, I’m not trying to be a hater. It’s moments in life like these that I realize how funny we as humans are. We really are very weird. And while it makes me feel slightly better that I don’t have *gasp* that problem…it also reminds me that I have my quirks. *gasp* (I know, I know…it’s hard to believe with how perfect I am and all. *gag*.) 

 

I’m so glad this day is almost over.

Words to Live By

Words that I'm trying to sear into this thick skull of mine.

"I'm aware of my reality and I'm dealing with my reality.  The process will unfold at its own pace". - J. Griffing

Unfold at its own pace.  If only I could be patient enough!  I am trying...I am learning.  I think choosing to be patient and gentle with myself has been and continues to be the hardest part! 


I actually have this bag and have been using it the past couple of weeks to remind myself of the message it carries, plus...yah know...I like birds. 

 I'm aware of my reality.  Isn't this the launching pad of all healing?  Finally having your eyes, mind and heart open just enough to light the blinding light of reality in?  To look at it...really look at it...and then live there.  Not in yesterday (although it's important to aware of what happened in the past) and not in tomorrow (coulds, shoulds & what ifs).  Live today, Rachel.  Live today.  Breathe today.  Attach yourself to this moment.  Enter your mind.  Embrace your body.  Be    Here    Now. 

I'm dealing with reality.  This past two weeks has been difficult.  I don't want to deal with my reality.  I don't want to look at let alone feel the pain.  For some reason...I've taken a couple steps backward but by golly, I see that I'm doing that so I'm fighting like heck to keep moving forward.  To deal with this reality that I find myself...whether by choice or the draw of the deal.  I think the greatest challenge is to continually choose to be fully present in the process.  Don't run.  Don't shut down.  As I said above...be here now.  Wow, that's hard.  I guess by even writing this I'm dealing with my reality which is encouraging in and of itself.  Go me!

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
- James Baldwin

Oh Sweet Spirit...help me to aware of my reality and engage in the process of dealing with my reality.  Help me, by Your grace, to let it unfold at its own pace. 

2 Days

I woke up at 4:30 this morning knowing I should use the following as today's blog. 

The Absence of Me

by Rachel Davenport

January 2010

In my empty void I find the emptiness is filled with me

 Why must it be so?

To rob You of Your place?

As King and Creator 

Just Judge and beautiful Lover

Why must it be so?  

To hold Your goodness in my hands

In my mortal capacity of Intellect?

As Your Sovereign hand moves to save and life vengeance against earthly humanity

Why must it be so?  

That I would hold the key so tightly that keeps You locked in Your prison

As You wildly pursue me in passion and purity

Why must it be so?  

That my understanding is so crippled to understand

Only me

As You desire holiness and to make Your totality known

Why must it be so?!

  **SHATTERS**

Your masterpiece hormonies move together to form creation

As you justly divide truth from what is not

You fill the void with Your beauty

You are high and lifted up

As Your Glory fills Your sovereign mercy and grace

No confine can hold You 

The expanse of time cannot contain Your eternity

You strike this vessel with the rod of Your Holy jealousy

Deep calls unto deep

as the wildness pulls me into the frenzy of love 

that provides stillness and peace

Your are beautiful in all Your ways sweet Savior

All You do and say is consumed by all that You are

You amaze me and fill me with the comprehension

That I am void 

Nothing

No One

Nobody

Until Your hand moves, Your voice speaks

Your heart reaches to mine in Your divinity

to gather my soul into Your blessed harmony

and I realize...the absence of me.

3 Days

Well...so much for blogging every day leading up to my birthday but by golly, I'm ok with that!  I was thinking about what to write today and decided it shall be about acceptance.

A HUGE lesson I've been learning this year, in particular the last several months, has been about acceptance. 

Acceptance of loss.  Acceptance of bad things done to me.  Acceptance that I've made poor choices and still will.  Acceptance that some things will never change.  Acceptance of my feelings. Acceptance of my husband's unconditional love for me.  Acceptance of God's unconditional, forever, mind-blowing love for me.  Acceptance of my body (still workin' on that one).  Acceptance of ME!

I'm finding that the more I embrace and accept all of these things and more - the freer I become.  Instead of living in such a way that holds all of these things at a distance...as though they are not there...not real.  Doing this drives me to a strange, fuzzy, gray un-reality.  A place in which I no longer want to live.  It stunts feelings, growth and most importantly, me.  Who I really am.  Still trying to figure that out but the awareness is growing stronger and stronger.

Another piece of this that I'm learning is that while I need to accept the loss/bad things - that doesn't mean that they need to identify me or become embedded into my being.  Acceptance means living/thinking/feeling in the now...in reality.  It means looking, really looking, at the issue.  Feel it.  Recognize the process.  I'm learning by simply doing this...I move on and out and into freedom.  Thank you, God.

As the great Francis of Assissi said:

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"

Amen and Amen.

3 Days!!!!!!!

1 Week from today I shall be 30!!

Here are some favorite pictures September 11, 2009 to today!

Down by the River

Hannah and "Aunie" (she can't say the 't' yet)

I love him

Long Hair

Shorter with layers and BANGS!

Short!  May even go shorter in a couple weeks!!

Me in characature by my amazing artist friend, Peg Meyerhofer

Teeny Tiny Oliver getting a bath in the sink.  I'm pretty sure he's thinking "I hate you". HA!

Spring in Our Backyard

A Summer Morning at the River

Autumn at the River

Well...this photo is not from 2010 but it's one of favorites of my love and I

 Check out my Facebook page for many more photos of 2010!!

11 Days

The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. – Proverbs 4:18

In a world that wants instant results, the Bible tells us that our growth comes slowly, but consistently. Maybe you are discouraged today because you don’t feel like your life is going anywhere. But how were things a year ago? Five years ago? Ten years ago? Many times it takes a long range perspective to remind ourselves that even though we have not gone as far as we want to, when we look back, we see that we’ve come a long way from what we used to be. We are getting brighter and brighter!  Today’s commentary by: Dave Whitehead, Senior Pastor, GraceNYC.org

I get a verse-a-day in my email inbox and this was today's verse and commentary.  Seems like a fitting follow-up to my feeling of reaching the pinnacle of 30 years old, no?  It's funny because as this birthday has drawn closer I had (notice I said had) this expectation that I would be farther along on my path of personal healing and growth than I am today, September 1st.  A dear, wonderful friend of mine (LDKH) reminded me that I have come a long way...espcially since this spring.  And that while I haven't reached the pinnacle (so to speak) of my emotional healing at this point...I'm still in the journey.  Still walking the path.  Still moving forward.  And by golly, are we ever done growing and healing and learning?  I guess I hope not because I certainly don't want to be stagnant in life. 

So I pause today to remember where I was, where I am and where I'm going.  I love this time of year (as the picture above depicts).  The waning of summer...the ushering in of autumn...and the wonderful sunrises that remind me that there is still today.  There is still hope.  There is still life to live.  And that hope is new every morning.

11 Days